Ravichandran Ashwin takes himself for a 'pretty strong' individuals who's met the trials and tribulations in his life head on.

But there was a time when even continuing his cricket career, despite having been recently crowned as ICC's Player of the Year, felt pointless. "I decided to quit cricket. I was asking myself what would I do? And I said whatever I do in life, I would try to achieve excellence and be as good as I can be in that profession. I would probably try to do an MBA and probably be in marketing," Ashwin conceded in The Indian Express' recent Idea Exchange. The year was 2017 and the off-spinner had been ruled out of the white-ball side without any clarity offered on his future in the team. "He didn't know if he was dropped or rested. If someone told Ashwin, 'come here, you are not good enough', he would get out and work on it. But when he was not told why he wasn't there, I saw him struggling," his wife, Prithi Ashwin had told this newspaper recently. | R Ashwin: 'I started weeping, locked myself in my room, wanted to quit cricket… Then I sought external help' For Ashwin, sharing his state of mind to those close to him, was also a complex conversation to be had. He explained, "Even though I have my family rooting for me and I can come back to my family, I cannot say a lot of things. I would say cricket, in many ways, is a corporate affair with a little bit of governmental organisational activities and attributes. Dharamsala: India's coach Rahul Dravid with R Ashwin after the team won the fifth Test cricket match over England, in Dharamsala, Satutday, March 9, 2024. India win the five-match series 4-1. (PTI Photo/Shahbaz Khan) "Though, If I come and talk with my dad about corporate stuff, he has only one line to say: It's all politics. And that's a very large line. And even fans end up doing the same thing. Occasionally, when I find myself in a dark spot, I have also done that a little. But it's a very wrong thing to do because you feel somebody's success is coming very easily. It's not. My wife is a wonderful listener, but she had a very young family and I was not giving her enough time," he added. It was a conversation that ensued at home with his father that led to the Indian spinner, who recently marked his 100th Test appearance and crossed the 500 Test wickets milestone, even thinking of hanging his boots. "My dad said something. And some internal affair of the house had broken down. And I said something to my dad. My dad and I fight a lot. And he eventually threw a statement, 'You know what? You are too upright and honest. That's why you are getting screwed.' He made that statement and left. I am not someone who is emotive. I would like to think I am pretty strong but I just locked myself away. And then I started weeping. I was crying for a long time. I didn't expect my dad to say that. I don't think he even realized what he did," Ashwin shared. "I thought I am putting people in my house through a lot. I used to lock myself in the room. I never watched cricket. My room used to be dark all the time," he added. Considering the options that laid in front of him, which included pursuing a degree in MBA and a career in marketing, Ashwin finally decided to get outside counselling. "It changed my life for the better."